kusut

ini adalah kali kedua ak menulis blog pada hari ini....
bermakne ak bebetul dalam keadaan yg amat tertekan....
semua bende ak buat adalah x menjadi.....
blog merupakan wadah terbaru ak nak menempiaskan segala yg bermain diminda ak....
even xde yg bace its ok....
lgpown ak buat blog ni bukan nak expose kat org pasal ak...
tp juz sesaje nak release tension....
coz im believe that writing can also help reduce my stress....
coz for man such like me i very high in ego.....
i really dont want to expose all my probs 2 other....
coz i think people may think im worse n suck + weak....
it actually very suck fealing ....
its can destroy me n even others around me....
but till now im still pretend that im ok....
i dont to take any drug o smoke to reduce it.....
juz enough with my smoking history b4....
in 2ndary school....
smoke is the most vital way 4 me to release tension...
pengaruh rakan sebaya beb.....
arghhhhhhhhhhhh.......
now im medical student n even a muslim( b4 this i juz muslim that not really take care of my relegeon)
erm......
ak jdi kusut tahap gaban skang.....
ak pown x tau pe nak wat lg......
ak dah jadi seorg yg giler.....
giler study....
the thing that never exist in my dictionary of life.....
but now it is.....
ak umpama x ley nak biarkan even 1 second of my time gone without studying.....
why???
sumer med stdent cam ak ker....
ak pown x sure......
ak juz nak menulis bagi segala beban di dada ak ilang
2 jer....
coz now i dont think that i had a person who can really understand my feeling(people like me)
not a weirdo but differ type of thinking person.....
erm....
now i try so hard to fulfil what actually my father wishes n not me.....
till now the thinking to change my destiny of life keep bother my life....
yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
hope may ALLAH bless me.....
hope that i cant now stand on my own feet to make a walk to my brighter future.,,,,,
erm.....
hope 1 day there is a person who can sharing all this probs.....
erm....
think i should take some alternative pathways to solve this probs n not run from it.....
i dont want to be a chicken....
i hope becoming a doctor is my future n i able to cope with it.....
and i also hope that this job will bring me toward paradise that i dreamed about....
erm...
that all i think for now.....
but i will keep push my keyboard to update this blog....
bcoz this the device to release my tension.....
regard....republick of cendol